You Don’t Have to Meditate to get the Benefits of Meditation

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I can get very stressed and have strong emotional responses to situations.  Over the years, many people have suggested that I meditate or do yoga – neither of which appeals to me.  So, I was pleased to come across the work of Ellen Langer, a social psychologist and professor at Harvard University.  Her research shows how to be mindful without meditating.

jontreecloseup

Here are four take-aways from watching her video (below):

  1. Notice new things. When you do, whether it be about a person, a place you’ve walked before, or whatever you put your attention to, is mindfulness.  Intentionally noticing new things is being in the present.
  2. Make what you are doing new in some way. Bring your style, perspective, interpretation to it.  Even subtly.  When musicians in an orchestra were asked to play their part, something they do over-and-over again, in a subtly new way, both the musician and the listener enjoyed the piece much more.
  3. Words and perspective matter. For example, instead of thinking of vacuuming as a chore, think of it as a chance to get exercise.  Or, instead of thinking of your friend as “gullible,” think of him as “trusting.”  When you change words, you change perspective and you get a change in mindset.
  4. The mind and body are one. Placebos work because of the mind-body connection.  Her video has a lot of cool examples of how our mindset effects our health.

 

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I’ve started noticing new things walks with my dogs.  One of the things I’ve noticed is how different each tree is from another.  They’ve got their own fingerprint.  I enjoy the exercise of noticing new things and it certainly get me to be in the moment.  And more relaxed.

If you decide to try some of these lessons, feel free to let me know how it goes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Profession Website:  http://www.BethLevineCounseling.com)

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Healing from a Broken Heart

 

I have written about connection and attachment and love, but what about when that romantic bond is broken.  What about heartbreak?

I thought I’d share with you my take away from the TED Talk, How to fix a broken heart, by Guy Winch, shared below.

Whoever came up with the term “heartbreak” was right on.  Heartbreak is painful like a heart that is broken.

Heartbreak is an injury.  It is complex and psychological in nature.  It can cause insomnia, intrusive thoughts, and immune system dysfunction.

When we are recovering from a heartbreak, our brain tries to make the pain go away by figuring out what happened, what went wrong:  as if it is a math problem with a solution that will provide a soothing balm to our wound.

But indulging in that craving is actually a way of feeding our love addiction when we can’t get the real thing.

Brain studies show that the withdrawal of romantic love activates the same mechanisms in our brain that are activated when addicts go through withdrawal from cocaine or opioids.

We get a hit by thinking of all the good times, hoping our romantic interest will come back to us, trying to figure out why the breakup happened, and/or idealizing our ex or the relationship.  To beat the fix, we need to:

  1. accept the reason they gave us, or make up one of our own
  2. refrain from looking our ex up on social media or contacting him/her
  3. keep a list of all the things that were wrong with the relationship and why that person was not the one for us

In addition, we need to rebuild our lives and get back to who we are, what we’re about.  We need to make efforts to fill in the missing links of our social lives and invest in activities that interest us.  We need to leave ourselves open to connection by learning about ourselves in relationship.

Recovery from a breakup is an arm wrestle we win in a multitude of ways.

 

 

 

 

 

 

(professional website:  http://www.BethLevineCounseling.com)