You Don’t Have to Meditate to get the Benefits of Meditation

watchwatertree

I can get very stressed and have strong emotional responses to situations.  Over the years, many people have suggested that I meditate or do yoga – neither of which appeals to me.  So, I was pleased to come across the work of Ellen Langer, a social psychologist and professor at Harvard University.  Her research shows how to be mindful without meditating.

jontreecloseup

Here are four take-aways from watching her video (below):

  1. Notice new things. When you do, whether it be about a person, a place you’ve walked before, or whatever you put your attention to, is mindfulness.  Intentionally noticing new things is being in the present.
  2. Make what you are doing new in some way. Bring your style, perspective, interpretation to it.  Even subtly.  When musicians in an orchestra were asked to play their part, something they do over-and-over again, in a subtly new way, both the musician and the listener enjoyed the piece much more.
  3. Words and perspective matter. For example, instead of thinking of vacuuming as a chore, think of it as a chance to get exercise.  Or, instead of thinking of your friend as “gullible,” think of him as “trusting.”  When you change words, you change perspective and you get a change in mindset.
  4. The mind and body are one. Placebos work because of the mind-body connection.  Her video has a lot of cool examples of how our mindset effects our health.

 

tree

I’ve started noticing new things walks with my dogs.  One of the things I’ve noticed is how different each tree is from another.  They’ve got their own fingerprint.  I enjoy the exercise of noticing new things and it certainly get me to be in the moment.  And more relaxed.

If you decide to try some of these lessons, feel free to let me know how it goes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Profession Website:  http://www.BethLevineCounseling.com)

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Everyday Beauty

birdonmountain

 

Walks with my dogs help me not only to get outside and get exercise, but also savor the pleasant and interesting things around me.  Just this morning, I saw a baby fox looking at us from a safe distance.  Often, I take a photo of what I am enjoying (unfortunately, I didn’t get a photo of the fox) which helps me amass a riches of positive feelings.  Taking time to stop and smell the roses boosts my positive emotions.

oldtreeroots

In our daily lives, we are often distracted by our thoughts or tasks at hand, so it is good to purposefully take some time to notice and savor positive things around us.  This is one thing we can do to increase our happiness.  A trip to the Bahamas or Belize, though awesome, is not needed for us to savor the everyday beauty around us.

redtreeagainstblue

If you like, try taking a short walk of about 15 – 20 minutes each day, or however often works for you.  Use your different senses to notice some charm in the moment.  Feel the cool breeze on your skin.  Notice the dramatic cloud formation.  Smell the roses.  Keeping a written journal or a photographic journal is an additional way to accumulate a treasure chest filled with simple pleasures.

windshielffrozen

The photos on this blog are some of the visual treats I’ve enjoyed.  Most are from walks with my dogs, but some are from walks I’ve taken without Dali and Oskar.  Yes, that does happen from time to time.  I hope you enjoy.

sunset2

And if you decide to give this “helpful hint” a try, feel free to let me know how it goes by writing below.

 

 

 

 

 

 

(professional website:  http://www.BethLevineCounseling.com)

The Energy Within

 

I went for a hike on both Saturday and Sunday this past weekend.

Being in nature.  Hearing the birds.  Getting my body moving.

I returned, energized to work on projects I’d been avoiding.

Want to create change?  Pump up your energy.

Connecting with your body in a slow, gentle way is important, but so is experiencing the joy and excitement of movement.

I remember taking a dance class many years ago.  We’d learn steps and then dance to pounding music.  I left feeling like I could take on the world.

So walk, dance, move and experience the energy within you.

Good for your heart and good for your soul.

 

 

 

(professional website:  www.BethLevineCounseling.com)

Inner Critic

 

As I try to find the just right idea

To write about

Different possibilities float up

And some part of me bats them away

Like some expert gnat swatter

Nope, that’s not five-star

Not that one

Or that one either

In rapid succession

A firing squad to ideas

And so I sit

And sit

And sit

Not writing anything

Because nothing is

Good enough

For this Judge

 

Click the link below for Tips on Quieting Your Inner Critic

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/podcasts/item/quieting_your_inner_critic

 

 

 

 

(professional website:  http://www.BethLevineCounseling.com)

Stop Trying to be Happy

 

Stop trying to be happy.

Yep.  That’s the key to happiness.

Of course, it’s not as simple as that, but according to Susan David, author of Emotional Agility, people who focus on being happy are less happy over time.  Dr. David believes that getting to know ourselves, understanding what is really happening for us, slowing down so we can figure out how we would like to respond to our emotions are skills that help us be happier.

Here are some highlights from an interview Maria Shriver had with Susan David:

“One of the first things is showing up. Instead of trying to push our emotions aside or trying to put on a happy face—what I call bottling and brooding—instead, literally drop any struggle that you have within yourself by ending the battle. Not saying to yourself, “I’m unhappy, but I shouldn’t be unhappy.” Or, “I’m miserable in my job, but at least I’ve got a job.”

Really just open up to the fact that we have a full range of emotions. These emotions have helped us and evolved to enable us to position ourselves effectively in the world.”

Emotions offer us important information regarding what is important to us.  In the interview, Dr. David goes on to say:

“It’s important to recognize that our emotions contain data. I’ve never met a mother who’s feeling guilty about her parenting who, at some level, isn’t wanting to be present and connected with her children. Our difficult emotions [point] to the things that we value.

Instead of struggling with whether we should or shouldn’t feel something, it’s important for us to say, “What is the function of this emotion? What is the value? What is this emotion trying to tell me?”

Here’s a link to the interview if you’re interested in reading further:

http://www.dailygood.org/story/1696/embrace-authenticity-how-to-break-free-from-the-tyranny-of-positivity-heleo-editors/

I know that I am not always happy and positive so reading that my happiness does not depend on me being happy and positive all the time made me happy!  I hope it helps you, too.

 

 

(professional website:  http://www.bethlevinecounseling.com)

Neuroscientists Discover Song that Reduces Anxiety by 65%*

Need I say more?

Here’s a 10-hour version:

 

And here’s an 8-minute version with a cool video:

Let me know what you think.

*https://ideapod.com/neuroscientists-discover-song-reduces-anxiety-65-now-going-viral-listen/?utm_source=Ideapod&utm_campaign=e42b384185-Neuroscientists_discover_a_song_that_red11_12_2017&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_b72f288493-e42b384185-54776493

 

 

(professional website:  http://www.bethlevinecounseling.com)

Skills to Calm Down: Petting Time and Getting a Different Perspective

Dali is barking and barking at the top of the stairs.  Nonstop.  I can’t figure out why.  Normally, I offer her “petting time,” which as the phrase suggests, is when I pet her and rub her neck.  When I do that, she calms down over time.  I call up to her and “Dali, come down for petting time.”

But she doesn’t come to me and she doesn’t stop barking.  At another time, I might go to her, but I have a broken toe and don’t want to get up from the couch.  She keeps barking.  I think it is on the fourth or fifth time of me offering to console her that she comes downstairs, trots over to me on the couch and then sits next to me ready for “petting time,” whining the whole time, expressing her internal discomfort with something.

She reminds me of how I can get sometimes.  Internally upset and having a hard time calming myself down.  It is important to have people in our lives we trust and can turn to for support, but I also believe we need to be our own support.

It can take a lot of work to calm ourselves down when we are having a strong reaction to something.  It’s good to have a couple of skills to turn to at these times and it’s good to practice these skills at times other than when we are emotionally dysregulated, so we are pretty good at doing these skills.

Here is are some good questions to ask yourself when you are revved up (I got them from getselfhelp.co.uk).

Ask yourself:

  • What am I REALLY reacting to?
  • What is it that is really pushing my buttons here?
  • What is it that I think is going to happen?
  • What is the worst (and best) that could happen?
  • What is most likely to happen?
  • Am I getting things out of proportion?
  • How important is this really? How important will it be in 6 months time?
  • What harm has been done?
  • Am I expecting something from this person or situation that is unrealistic?
  • Am I overestimating the danger?
  • Am I underestimating my ability to cope?
  • Am I using a negative filter? Is there another way of looking at it?
  • What advice would I give to someone else in this situation?
  • Am I spending time ruminating about the past or worrying about the future?
  • What could I do right now that would help me feel better?
  • How would someone else see this situation? What is the bigger picture?
  • What would be the consequences of responding the way I usually do?
  • Is there another way of dealing with this? What would be the most helpful and effective action to take?  (for me, for the situation, for the other person)

These are a lot of questions, probably too many to remember.  I recommend writing down about 6 questions that resonate for you and have them handy for when you are feeling emotionally overwhelmed.  By taking time to think through the answer to these questions, you can get a different perspective on the situation and that can help you manage your emotions more effectively.

Please let me know if you find this approach helpful or if you have some other strategies that work for you.

 

(professional website:  http://www.bethlevinecounseling.com)