Category Archives: dog

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July 31, 2019

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anxiety, depression, dog, Relationships

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Wherever I Go, There She Is

My dog, Dali, is a steady presence to all my different ways of being.

If I’m sad, Dali is licking my tears.

If I’m angry, Dali follows me from room-to-room.

If I’m anxious, Dali sits patiently as I pace.

If I’m depressed and lay down, Dali lays down with me.

She is confident and courageous and calm and if she could talk, I imagine she would say, “It doesn’t matter how you are.  I am here.  I’m not going anywhere.  You can count on me.”

I’ve learned from Dali what it means to be present to all my different parts.  Through this experience, I’m better able to do that for myself.

Dali is closing in on 15 years of age and she is declining.  I am afraid that I am not going to learn fast enough all that Dali has to teach me.  But I am present and compassionate to that fear and in that way, and many other ways, Dali’s legend will live on.

 

 

(Professional Website:  http://www.BethLevineCounseling.com)

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August 22, 2018

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anxiety, Companion animals, depression, dog, happiness, Life Lessons, Relationships

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Saying Hello is Good for you Health

I remember when Dali first joined our family, we lived in a downtown area.  She was about six months old, maybe close to a year and filled with energy.  She loved saying hello to people, all people.  She would go up to everyone and greet them.  And most people responded in kind, although there were always some who were busy or didn’t want to be bothered, which was no problem for Dali.  She would just move on to the next person.  Though she is nearing 14 years old, she still goes out of her way to greet people and it is clear how happy this interaction makes her.

Social interaction makes a big difference in our health.  It is as important as eating healthy and exercising.

In this seven-minute segment, Shankar Vedantam focuses on the health impacts of social isolation for men, but it has good information for everyone.

 

Researchers Examine What Social Isolation Can Do To Men’s Health

https://www.npr.org/2018/08/21/640437965/researchers-examine-what-social-isolation-can-do-to-mens-health

 

Take time to connect with other people.  Say hello to others on the bus or subway.  Or when you’re on line.  Strike up a conversation with a bank teller or cashier.  I know from my experience, though brief, these interactions can boost my mood.

 

 

 

(Professional Website:  http://www.BethLevineCounseling.com)

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August 14, 2018

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anxiety, Companion animals, depression, dog, happiness, having fun, Life Lessons, personal growth, Pets, play, Relationships

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Laugh Out Loud

Oskar has a sense of humor.

 

 

He will stand at the top of the stairs and push a tennis ball to me at the bottom.  When I get it, I throw it back – down the hall – so he has to run and get it.  He’ll go back to the top of the stairs and wait for me to sit down on the couch and then he will push the ball down the stairs again, so I hear a thump, thump, thump as the ball bounces down the stairs.

As he grew up in our family, and I would give a chew treat to both him and Dali.  He would hide his treat when I wasn’t looking and then give me this look like something happened to his chewy and he didn’t know what it was.  I was thinking maybe Dali was taking it so I’d give him another.  Until one day, I don’t remember why, I thought to look around the house and saw that he was hiding them.  When he realized I was on to him, he stopped his prank.

There are other things he does in the moment and I find myself cracking up.  I look at him and he has a big smile on his face.  We connect over the moment of playfulness and I feel lighter and joyful.

Laughing boosts the immune system and relieves stress, depression, anxiety, pain and social conflict.  Be sure to watch a funny video, movie, spend time with friends who make you laugh, or find other things that make you LOL on a regular basis.

https://www.webmd.com/women/especially-for-women-15/video-balance-laughter

 

 

 

 

Professional Website:  http://www.BethLevineCounseling.com

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July 26, 2017

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Being human, Companion animals, dog, Life Lessons, self help, self-esteem

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Knowing Who You Are Through Actions

 

Dali is one of the most strong-willed individuals that I know.  She pursues what she wants with every ounce of energy that she has.  When I had to take my other dog, Oskar, to the emergency clinic, Dali snuck out the front door so as not to be left behind.  On walks, she sits, unmovable, when she doesn’t want to go the way I want to go.  When she desires a neck rub, she sits by my feet and communicates with body language that says it is time.  And there is no alternative for me but to massage her neck.

Pretty good for a 20-pound dog.

Though Dali is getter older and the hot, humid summer is hard on her, she still is clear on what she wants.  She lets me know when it is time to go home.  She makes it clear when she wants to sit and soak in the sun.  And she determines when it is time for her, at least, daily neck rub.

In her honor, I am taking steps to go after what I want.  I am doing art every day, whether painting or writing poetry, even for a few minutes a day.  Taking this first step gave me more energy to do more of the things that are important to me.  I started a Google Group that I’ve thought about for at least a year and am taking a bike ride at least once a week.  I feel better about myself and more competent.

 

“Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.” Thomas Jefferson

 

(professional website:  http://www.bethlevinecounseling.com)

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August 8, 2014

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Being human, dog, having fun, Life Lessons, self help

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Don’t Take “No” for an Answer and the Joys of Making the Best out of a Situation

If Dali were to write a book on living life, I think her first principle would be:  Don’t Take “No” for an Answer.

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Don’t let this picture fool you.  She looks pretty cute and innocent, but she can be incredibly determined and stubborn.  I once asked my husband, Irwin, what kind of work Dali would do if she were human.  We came up with some kind of artist because she has a gift for expressing her emotions.  But, Oskar does, too.  It’s just that he is much more easy-going.  If he doesn’t get his way, he makes the best out of the situation.  Not Dali.  Dali sulks.  If we don’t go the direction she wants, she can stop and smell the grass every two seconds.  We make no progress.  She has made her displeasure known.  Sometimes she’ll loop back towards home and we end up walking a very short walk because we didn’t go the way Dali wanted to go.

Even though these qualities seem kind of opposite to each other, I see value in them both and learn from my two companions.  Knowing what you want and going for it is certainly a helpful quality to have.  I have different projects I’d like to accomplish, and sometimes I get stuck in figuring out which project to work on and what step should I take next.  Dali is an inspiration.  She plows straight ahead and figures things out as she goes along.  Dali makes her own path.

And I learn from Oskar, too.

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It is a real strength to be flexible and be able to change courses when the situation warrants.  He is more of a team-player and that comes in handy in our social world.  I’ve gotten better at that throughout the years.  I’ve learned that although whatever situation I might be in, even if it is not my favorite, like finding myself at lunch or dinner with people I don’t know or don’t like, I can make the best out of the situation.  I can make that my goal and when I do that, I feel good about myself and often find I have a better time than I expected.

I hope Dali and Oskar have picked up some of my better qualities.  🙂

 

 

(professional website:  http://www.bethlevinecounseling.com)

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July 2, 2014

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Being human, Belonging, Caring for each other, Companion animals, compassion, dog, Life Lessons, Relationships

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Life Transitions

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I never thought Dali would ever slow down, but she is.   She’s nine now and doesn’t have the energy she used to.   Some days, we can still go for a 2 hour walk in the morning and other days it’s a slow half-hour walk.  Some of it is the heat and humidity, I’m sure, but Oskar could keep going if Dali were willing.

Barring anything unforeseen, I am sure that I have many more years with Dali.  Her signs of aging impact me, though.  Dali is a willful individual and it’s like I’m being let in on her secret.  Her vulnerability and fragility are peeking through her indomitable spirit.

One day, I made the mistake of insisting that I pick her up to help her make the walk.  She struggled in my arms until I put her down.  Now, I just pretend that I don’t notice that we’re walking slowly or shorter distances.  I want to give Dali her dignity.

Oskar has to adjust, too.  He doesn’t always have his partner to run with and chase squirrels.   When I can, I take him out by himself.  Sometimes he’ll go with me and interestingly, sometimes he wants to stay back with Dali.  Even though I don’t think they would have picked each other as friends, they have developed a bond and look out for each other.

Recognizing and honoring the losses, as well as remaining flexible in the face of change, helps us all find our way together through this new phase of our lives.

What has helped you get through some of your life transitions?

 

(professional website:  http://www.bethlevinecounseling.com)

 

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April 4, 2014

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Being human, Caring for each other, dog, healing, Life Lessons, Relationships, self help, self-compassion

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Learning to Say “I Don’t Have it to Give Now”

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I take my responsibility as a guardian to Dali and Oskar seriously. I know that I decide when they go for a walk, how long they walk, when they eat, what they eat, how much they eat, if they go to the vets, when they go to the vets. I decide most things in their life. Although this isn’t completely true particularly for Oskar because he is very fast at finding what I call “bad garbage” and eating it while looking up at me to make sure I am seeing him and daring me to try to take it out of the steel grip of his jaw. But, still, you get my point. Because I am aware that they have limited choices in their lives, I try my very best to make their life fulfilling. I am happy to do this and see this as part of my responsibility as their guardian and I have learned an important lesson about setting my own limits too.

I take Dali and Oskar for long walks – about 1 ½ hours in the morning. When I’m working, I have a dog walker come and take them out so they don’t have to spend long periods of time sleeping alone in the house. I take them to different places because I get bored walking the same route and I figure Dali and Oskar are stimulated by different routes and the different smells on those routes too. I take them, when I can, into different stores when I have to do errands. I play games with them so they exercise their brains.

I like making them happy, but sometimes doing so conflicts with my needs. They could walk and sunbathe, when the weather allows, all day. I do enjoy our time in the outdoors and I also have other things I like and need to do. When I extend myself beyond my limit, I typically get frustrated. This, of course, negatively impacts my relationship with Dali and Oskar.

After many years, I have learned that recognizing and honoring my limit and needs is better for Dali and Oskar and our relationship than pushing myself beyond what I have to give. I tell them that I am very sorry, that I wish I could run with them all day, but this is all I can do right now. This alleviates my own guilt and they seem to understand the sincerity in my voice and give in to me – mostly.

I can better understand times when my mother would get angry with me, which hurt my feelings. I can see that she was torn between wanting to give to me and having limits of her own. I would have liked it better if she would have been able to let me know that she loved me, but just couldn’t talk anymore. Having her model that for me might have helped me, too, to learn to listen to my own needs and set appropriate limits.

Luckily, I continue to learn and Dali and Oskar are forgiving of my mistakes and accepting of my imperfections. And that is a wonderful gift they give me.

 

(professional website:  http://www.bethlevinecounseling.com)